Sometimes I'm flushed with this certain feeling
That certain feeling makes me want to disappear
I want to run away
Thats all I ever do
Runaway
Runaway and pretend nothing ever happened
Runaway and pretend nothing existed
Runaway and pretend I'm not here

But then I take a breath and everything is still here...

Hello Future

My step mom noticed the cuts on my thighs today
Those darn gates I must say
Oatmeal soothes my cold flesh
My patient was Russian, Vai she vas a lovely voman
I bought home another black artical of clothing
I love cereal and berries
Even actions that are not me can become habits if I practice

Loving is a good thing, yes.

Again and Again

Smoke
Cut
Again

Swallow
Purge
Again

Starve
Sleep
Again

Bruise
Suffer
Again

What is the point?

Go away

Monster has sharp teeth
Monster is clingy
Monster is selfish
I can't breathe

Monster has rules
Monster is scary
Monster is clever
I can't sleep

Empty out until Monster leaves
Can't empty and Monster grows
Eyes open, Monster stares
Dreams set, Monster glares

Monster
Monster
I can't live

God

I'm not religious or whatever, and I have no knowledge either.
Sometimes I wonder if people believe in God for comfort.
I wonder why people believe in God at all, not that I object.
"The rest is in God's hands"
"She's with God now"
"God will love you"
"Leave that for God to handle"
Is it so easy to say? Does it make you feel safe?
A bit like a mother with big arms always to hold you no matter what.

Lots of kids today only go to church because they're forced to.
Are they truly Christian then?
I wonder.
I asked my step mom if it's good to believe in God, if she still believed.
She said the only thing that matters is that you do what you think is right,
and try not to hurt others.

Saturday Too Plain

So I made a new one, because the other one was way too personal, which I should really consider making private.

But hey guys, hopefully I'll be motivated to update this often.
I think I'll have more fun with creativity on this too, maybe. Hopefully. Yes?

Sometimes tumblr just strips away any sort of individual artistic thoughts or ideas, least I feel that way.
Everything is cluttered with reblogs, simple sentences, and blah blah blah. Someone else's business?

I have no idea what I'm talking about.