Hello Sunshine

I have no idea why I've been so..down..depressed lately?
It's really scary, the emptiness I mean. I have no idea why I get these sudden tsunamis of fear..
And then I just sort of drown. But I don't get to die, I just linger there choking and gasping for air.
And its so weird..because sometimes it really does feel liek I'm physically suffocating...and yet I'm breathing just fine.

Makes me dizzy in the head.

This makes me feel really weak though..I want all of this to be gone. So what if I had a rough time growing up, so what if I feel like an outcast at home,
so what if I have emotional problems when I'm not preoccupied.. so what if food and I have a bad relationship. I need to learn to be grateful.
I need to put my time to better use, stop focusing on my nonsense problems and focus on helping others or towards a better future.
For my mom. I need to realize the actions I do affect her as well. And my ex. I need to stop being selfish.

I can change it, with time. Of course effort, it'll change. This isn't me.

Going to start painting on my canvas soon, I'll show it soon (: